Downsizing advice from Volunteer Services manager Kris G.
Last year around this time, my husband and I decided to downsize our home. Our boys had moved out and we found ourselves left in a house full of wonderful memories and a lifetime of stuff. As we explored boxes that lined the shelves and cluttered the basement floor, we found mementos from dating and from our wedding 33 years ago, along with boxes of clothes and toys. Sports equipment, VCRS, photos, and cassette tapes. Gadgets I don’t recall buying, and items given to me from relatives- things that I kept because they were a “gift”. There were high school and college textbooks, and boxes that were still labeled from our first apartment that were moved multiple times yet never opened. The task to get rid of a few things was overwhelming. I hoped our children someday would want and value my things as much as I did, but I quickly learned they did not.
Over the years, the volunteers of Forgotten Treasures have heard countless stories similar to mine. People who were excited to move into the next season of life but trapped by the years of accumulated items. To tell someone to just get rid of things is easy, until it is you that needs to purge. In the end, we were able to reduce our belongings. My fondest memory was the afternoon that my husband, our boys and their girlfriends sat on the floor and looked through the endless boxes of our kids’ artwork, report cards and notes. We giggled as we tried to interpret childhood art and notes with misspelled words. We were able to get through not only the boys’ boxes but many others too. As we got to the bottom of each box, we promptly put the contents into three categories: garbage, donate or save. The reminiscing and laughter replaced the sting of getting rid of things. Our boys remembered more than I thought they did and their girlfriends enjoyed hearing about them when they were little. As the evening wrapped up, the boys took the garbage out knowing I wouldn’t be able to physically throw it away. The donations were packed in the trunk of vehicles, and as they hugged me goodbye they reminded me that while they did not want a lot of my stuff, they did want the time together and the memories that we shared that day. I went to bed that night content, with a full heart knowing the clutter was gone but the legacy of our family was passed on to the next generation; because in the end it was not about the stuff, but the memories that I cherished the most.
A few suggestions from Forgotten Treasures volunteers: Start with things that don’t have sentimental value. The kitchen is a good place to begin. Do not focus on how much you paid for each item. If you don’t use it, donate it. Allow one small box of mementos for each of your loved ones. Be sure to include a letter of why you wanted them to have the items in the box. Take your time. You do not need to do it all at once. Invite others to help. Tell stories about why you chose to keep the items. Take the time to purge your belongings now, rather than waiting for someone else to handle it. It’s a considerate choice that will ease the burden on your loved ones. If you are going to donate consider writing the story/history of the item. New owners love to know about their newly acquired treasures. If you think it is valuable have it appraised, then use it, sell it or gift it, but do not leave it in a box in the basement.