Finding Peace and Comfort
Navigating grief during the holidays can be a mix of emotions—joyful, nostalgic, and sometimes bittersweet. When you’re grieving, the season often feels heavier, filled with reminders of what was and what’s missing. For me, the holidays changed forever in 2019 when my nephew, Westyn, passed away on December 26th. He was only four years old, but his energy and imagination lit up every room.
Westyn was a little superhero in every sense of the word. He loved playing air guitar, singing and dancing, snuggling with his mom, wrestling with his dad, and weaving the tallest tales. His favorite movie was The Greatest Showman, and every moment with him felt like it belonged in a storybook. Losing him during the holiday season felt like time stood still. But as the years have passed, I’ve come to see the holidays as a time to honor his memory and cherish the love and connections that remain.
Grief Doesn’t Have a Timeline—And That’s Okay
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that grief isn’t something you “move past.” It’s something you carry, and over time, you learn to carry it differently. During the holidays, emotions can come in waves—sadness, longing, or even guilt when you find yourself smiling or enjoying a family moment. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and give yourself permission to feel them. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve.
In my experience, grief doesn’t follow a straight path. Some years, you might feel stronger and more capable; other years, the loss might feel fresh again. Both are completely normal and letting yourself experience your emotions, rather than suppressing them, can be one of the healthiest ways to cope.
Honoring Loved Ones: Keeping Memories Close
Finding ways to honor and celebrate the people we’ve lost can bring comfort and even a sense of joy. For Westyn, my family and I light a candle and play songs from The Greatest Showman. We share stories about his big personality, his laughter, and his determination to win every wrestling match. For me, these simple acts bring him close and remind us of the happiness he brought into our lives.
For others, honoring a loved one might mean creating a new holiday tradition. Perhaps it’s hanging an ornament that represents them, visiting a place that held special meaning, or writing them a letter. Small gestures like these can help keep their spirit alive and remind us that love doesn’t fade, even when someone is gone.
Reaching Out: The Power of Connection
The holidays can be particularly isolating when you’re grieving, but connection can be a powerful tool for healing. Whether it’s joining a support group, attending a community event, or simply inviting a neighbor over for coffee, these moments of connection remind us that we’re not alone.
At Shorehaven, we see the strength of community every day. Residents often find comfort in shared meals, group activities, or simply sitting with someone who understands. Building a sense of togetherness, even in small ways, can make a world of difference when navigating grief.
For those seeking additional support, consider joining our GriefShare Support Group, which meets on the second Monday of each month from 10 to 11:30 a.m. at the Center for Life Enrichment. This group offers a compassionate environment to share experiences and find solace during challenging times.
Simplify the Season: Focus on What Feels Right
When you’re grieving, the hustle and bustle of the holiday season can feel overwhelming. It’s okay to scale back and focus on what feels manageable. Maybe this year, you skip the big party and instead spend time decorating a favorite ornament, watching holiday lights, or enjoying a quiet evening by the fire. Sometimes, less is more.
Self-care is also essential. Grief takes a toll on both your mind and body, so don’t forget to prioritize rest, nutrition, and moments of peace. Give yourself permission to take a break from the holiday rush whenever you need it.
Giving Back: Turning Grief into Kindness
Helping others can be a meaningful way to cope with loss. Acts of kindness, no matter how small, can provide a sense of purpose and connection. You might volunteer at a local food pantry, donate gifts to children in need, or bake cookies for your neighbors. Writing holiday cards for those who might be alone—like seniors, hospital patients, or military personnel—can also be a powerful way to spread comfort and joy.
Giving back not only helps others but can also remind you of the goodness and light that still exist in the world. It’s a way to channel grief into something positive and healing.
Finding Peace in Reflection
Not every moment during the holidays needs to be filled with activity. Sometimes, the quietest moments are the most meaningful. I’ve found it helpful to take time to reflect on what I’m grateful for, even when things feel heavy. For me, it’s a warm memory, the kindness of a friend, or the beauty of a snowy day. These small moments of peace help keep me grounded and bring me comfort.
Reflecting on Westyn’s life and the joy he brought to our family has become a source of healing. It’s a reminder that even though he’s gone, his love and laughter are still a part of us.
Looking Ahead: Finding Hope in the New Year
While the holidays often bring memories of the past, they’re also an opportunity to look ahead. Setting small, gentle goals for the new year can provide a sense of hope and direction. Whether it’s reconnecting with an old friend, trying a new hobby, or simply allowing yourself more time to rest, these steps can help you move forward without forgetting the past.
At Shorehaven, we know the holidays can be a complicated time. They’re a season of reflection, connection, and healing. Whether you’re sharing stories, creating new traditions, or simply finding comfort in the quiet moments, we’re here to support you through every step of your journey.
If you’re navigating grief this holiday season, please know that you’re not alone.
Brent West has been the Multimedia Specialist at Shorehaven since fall of 2022. He is dedicated to sharing stories that foster connection, resilience, and a sense of community.